We Must Empower the Parents

We Must
Empower the Parents

America is losing the war on drugs, alcohol abuse, violence in the classrooms and kids who cannot read, write or analyze their thoughts. It seems that in the last 15 years, the Federal Government has been called in to fix all these problems as they are overwhelming the family homes and neighborhoods.

It is no surprise to me that the government can fix nothing. The parents of today's kids are still waiting for some federal action that will take the drug dealers off their streets and schools. They have a long wait.

Even with the liquor stores carding most young people when they try to buy booze, today's kids always find a source for their alcoholic drinks. Most of the time all they need to do is head for their own kitchens.

There too much violence within the home itself and the classrooms not to mention the street gangs that always seem to follow a disturbed neighborhood and it is taking a terrible toll on the American family.

How many more millions of dollars will we need to spend before one of these problems is corrected? We don't have enough money in the world to do this.

Oh, there is one way and it won't cost a dime.

The federal government has the authority to stop drugs from being imported into America. For some reason this authority is not enforced and many dealers enter with a load of meth chemicals, make the drop and go home again. No one ever checks the boxes in their trucks or airplanes. The border inspectors are looking only for people who are immigrating without paperwork. This is a losing battle so let's forget about it for a minute.

I was driving through the central California cities on my way to Arizona and I noticed several neighborhoods that had posted signs "Drug Free Neighborhood." I passed a junior high school and the sign on the fence said "Drug Free Campus." Those two signs said more to me than the 3 trillion dollar fiasco the government is trying to sell to all Americans called the War On Drugs. These folks that live in this small city have the answer to the problem.

First, to quell all the whiners who claim that parents are too busy to take the responsibility for their kids, let me point out that all it takes is an adult living in the home with the child or children. To give the a little incentive to get their act together and start paying attention to what the kids are smoking, drinking, sniffing or even reading on the internet, the government must declare a moratorium on the war on drugs. Cancel it, forget it, let the drugs flow in and out of the neighborhoods and take a toll of many children and parents who are too busy to care.

I might be helpful to warn the parents that the government is finished spending trillions of dollars to do the job that the parents should have been doing all along.

Let's see, 3 months should be long enough to warn folks. A few well-placed television ads such as the soap operas and ball games should cover many parents. After 3 months, the ATF agents should appear at the town hall meetings, the school assemblies and quietly tell the powers that be that they will be closed until directed by Washington DC to return to duty. These agents must be dressed in full garb and carrying weapons similar to the one that was pointed at Elian Gonzales's face. A show of force must be made just to inforce the message. Let these black jacketed armed men walk the neighborhoods and wave goodbye.

Now, we have solved half the problem let's talk about the other half. Many parents will freak out at this plan. Good!! Start town hall meetings to allow them to gripe and whine and blame everybody from the government, television, and the liberal press. Let them cry and rant and rave and when they calm down, tell them how to get their family back into a single unit.

There are professional family counselors that can be shown how to empower the family on how to do this. Tough Love is a good place to start. Every parent and teacher should have read this book by now. Of course if the parents started training when the child was around 2 years of age, they won't have a problem in this stage of the game.

From this date, what ever trouble the child gets into is put in the lap of the family unit. When the family unit gets hauled into court for having a member stealing something from another person or hurting another child, the fine will be a corker whether it is drug related or not. This will cause a state of emergency within the courts and will cause the family unit to have to spend long hours waiting for their trial to appear. Let them sweat! Let them lose work hours! Let them lose school days! Make them responsible for the family unit.

Ahem, this is the way it used to be. One family member causing shame to the whole family was a very effective way to keep kids out of trouble. If a family can't keep control of their kids, have the government assign a live-in "watcher" or an electronic shackles that confines a person to a specific area, let's bring them out and use them on the family home. I guarantee some adult member of the family will step up to the plate and start calling the plays.

America may lose a few kids to drugs during this moratorium, but the same number of kids would have overdosed anyway. Is it such a terrible thing to do to any family? Allow them to be the leaders of their pact? or the head of the household? A FATHER? or mother/grandfather/uncle?

When the Head of the Household (HOH) starts to feel his sea legs as the power of the family, allow him/her to head to the school administrator's office and start asking why Johnny can't read. Ask why Johnny can put a condom on a banana but he can't read the label. Have him ask why human sexuality is more important than geography? Gosh I can think of a thousand questions that I could have asked, and in fact, I did ask but it was to the principal of a private school and I approved of his answers and enrolled my kids immediately.

Now the HOH has the attention of his family and the school, let him preside over the dinner table. At first conversation will be hard. Hell, most of the families of today haven't had a conversation other than "where's the television guide?"

Start a conversation! Ask a question or two and listen for a change. Throw out a topic of conversation for tomorrow's dinnertime. Here's one that I popped on my girls years ago.

"If the moon sometimes can be seen during the day, why can't the sun come up at night?" My older girl just looked at me and said "Mom, don't ask that question out in public!" My younger girl, bless her heart, explained it to me carefully and in great detail. It certainly breaks the ice.

Of course, after the dinner hour becomes a focus of the evening, now comes the heavy part of the bargain. Make sure the television is off! It should be off in the evening anyway. Start the discussion of drugs. If the Dare program is being taught in the schools ask the kids to explain it to you. This can be followed with the new law declared in the home that this is a "drug free environment!" Get the kids to make signs for the front room, family room, kitchen and all the bedrooms.

Make a family commitment and keep it! Only the HOH can do this! Write up a contract and have every member of the family sign it! Mount it on the wall over or near the dinner table and talk about it. Talk about what signing a document means and why agreements must be made and approved.

During the moratorium the HOH should not be drinking in the home. Everyone must make a sacrifice to show the severity of the problem. In a few weeks, a new level of communication will develop between the family members. This is the first step in the most important part of developing a real family unit.

Once the HOH becomes the lead dog in this pack of happy family members, there is no place to go but up! Just think of the history discussions or even the bible discussions that can be out in the open for that precious hour that the fights are off limits and good conversation is the rule of the table.

HOH, if you want to build a legacy, I've just shown you how to do it. When many HOHs get together and take over the neighborhood, look out! The power is growing and the results can be breath taking!